Remembering the Finer Things when i met kelsey
by TalleyAnne
Summary: ZigZag remembers a friend from his past, and a familiar face shows up at CGL (eh, its been done, but O WELL)
1. RICKY

Okay I just read C*H*A*R*M1's story so now im kinda makin one! So um, review please!  HEY as a note, the new Dashboard Confessional CD comes out in 1 day, the 12th! (There u go, Emily lol)

Chapter 1, The day we met

            Finally.  Alone, I thought.  All the guys had left me in the tent.  They went to go have dinner.  I said I wasn't hungry.  Truth was, I was thinking about her.  I couldn't stop.  

See, this girl back home.  Her name was Kelsey.  She didn't know it, but I had loved her since the day we met, back in 5th grade.  I fell in love with everything about her that day in September.  He personality, her laugh, the way she called me Ricky, with that tone like she could care less about a guy like me.  But especially her eyes.  Yeah, her eyes.  They seemed so endless.  They were captivating.  It felt like when I looked into their dark ocean blue depths I was spiraling down a deep hole, and my heart melted.

  I closed my eyes.  If I thought hard enough, I could almost see her.  I could almost replay that sacred day in my head…

September 5th Grade.

****

I was walking in to school on the first day of 5th grade with my buddy Jerry.  We were coming up the driveway when he spotted this guy Mark, so he went over to meet him, but I stayed.  I was looking at this girl.  She was standing around the cement steps with a few other girls.  She had long black hair and blue eyes and thin rimmed rectangular wire glasses.  She was wearing a pink sundress that sort of swished when the wind blew.  She seemed popular, the way the girls were hanging on her every word, the way some other boys punched each other when they walked by her and her group.  

I'll never forget it.  I started walking up the steps when she looked over at me.  The other girls turned around to look at what she was staring at.  I gave a small, nervous smile as she looked my way.  She sat down on the rail, holding a pile of books.  She smirked a bit.  Then I heard a few giggles and someone say "Eiw, who's that kid looking at you Kelsey?"  My temper flared as I clenched my fists.  My face reddened and I started walking up more, leaving the laughing girls behind me.  I was kind of paranoid that they were gonna say bad things about me when I got inside.  I didn't know that the girl with those eyes raised her head to look at me as I walked away.  

I was startled all of a sudden when the warning bell rang.  Jerry ran over to me and said he'd save me a seat in class.  I nodded and moved aside as the girl's friends rushed past me.  I looked back to see the girl chasing after a book that had fallen down the steps.  All of her papers were flying around in the breeze.  She screeched and ran after them.  We were the only ones out in the courtyard now.  Everyone had herded inside like cattle, not wanting to be late on the first day of school.  

I laughed a bit then set my backpack down by the railing.  She looked so helpless, running around, catching flying paper.  I ran down the steps.

"Hey!" I called out to her.  Then I got closer to where she was kneeling at the bottom step.  She was clutching her knees.

I sat down, catching a piece of paper as it flew by her head.  "Um, here, I've got you're book." I held out a pink notebook I picked up off the ground, blushing slightly as she looked into my eyes and sniffled.  She was so pretty.

"Thanks," she whispered.  She had a slight lisp on her s, and had a high milky smooth voice.  I noticed a small tear tracing her cheekbone. I tried to wipe it away but she turned from me.

I sighed.  There were two battles going on inside me.  One saying I was 10 and girls had icky cooties, the other fighting me to admit I liked her, even though I had never seen her before.  "What's the matter?" I said, standing up.  She stood up, too.

"Im gonna be late to class and I lost a few folders when that wind blew.  Now I wont be prepared and ill get a slash in the attendance book and," her voice warbled on.  "And my father will be so angry."  She finished.  She grabbed her backpack and burst through the glass doors.

"Wait!" I yelled.  She turned around, avoiding my eyes.  "Im uh, Im Ricky."

I looked at her.  She looked down at her watch.  "I've got to get to class," she said.  I nodded.  "My name is Kelsey.  Kelsey Millen."  I watched her turn and run down the hall.  She slipped in a door right before the bell rang. 

I couldn't understand what I felt that day.  IT felt like I was blushing.  My heart was warm, and I felt like screaming.  I didn't understand it that day, but I did in a few years.  

****

Now, at Camp Green Lake

**_I lie awake,_**

**_It's a quarter past 3._**

**_Im screaming inside _**

**_Like I thought you'd here me_**

**_Now my heart is calling you_**

**_And nobody knows it but me._**

I sighed.  I was only 10.  Most boys thought love was icky back then.  But I knew.  I had fallen for Kelsey.  

I jumped a little as I heard the tent flap shut.  I saw Caveman coming in.  "Hey, ZigZag," he said.  He sat on his cot, taking off his shoes.  I silently groaned.  I really didn't feel like talking.  I didn't want to loose that picture of Kelsey I had formed in my mind.

I opened my eyes.  "Hey man.  Dinner over?  Where are the other guys?" I asked.

He lay back on his cot.  "Oh, yeah.  They went to go watch the pool tournament."

"Oh really?" I faked interest.  "Who's playin tonight?"

"Lump and Porky.  From C-Tent."

"Cool," I muttered, lying back also.  I closed my eyes, trying to picture Kelsey Millen one more time before I slipped into a dreamless sleep, thinking about how it used to be before I came here.

The nights are lonely 

**_The days are so sad_**

**_I just keep thinking about the love that we had_**

**_And im missing you_**

**_And nobody knows it but_**

**_Me._**

****

****

****

*~*

Hey!  I like that song, don't make fun of it…lol

I don't know what it is called or who sings it, but if you know, please tell me so I can disclaim it! Thanks!

Oh, and if you want me to read any stories you have LET ME KNOW

Okays, byes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1Darnit! Someone needs to tell me a good way to get my sister grounded for life!  She is standing behind me (the 9 year old one) and singing Britney Spears.  She is SO annoying, but I love her…lol

REVIEW!!!!!!!Tals


	2. KELSEY

BIG THANKS TO D-TENT CHICK, my only reviewer…. lol I hope more!! Ok well I haven't updated this fic in like 4EVER so I will…lol

Disclaimer: I used Celine Dion's _My Heart Will Go On_ as the song, the theme from the major motion picture _Titanic_.

O and I changed the name…this story used to be called When I Met Kelsey

Chapter 2

_Every night in my dreams,_

_I see you, I feel you,_

_That is how I know you Go On._

_Far across the distance _

_And spaces between us,_

_You have come to show you Go On._

            I don't know why.  It's been 2 years since I've seen 'im, but I cant stop thinking' 'bout 'im.  God doesn't even know how hard I try to get him out of my mind 'cause I gave up on god a long time ago, when Mama died.  It made sense.  I had already lost Papi, and Mama was the only other person I could talk to, and God took her away.  

            And Mama dying left me here in San Francisco all by myself, not knowing where in the bejesus my sisters were.  Not like they would care about poor little Kelsey Quinn Millen anyways.  I was only their own flesh and blood!  The least they could have done was to come get me.  But anyways, I call Caldwell Park home now.  I sit on the benches all day, and then sleep about 500 feet away, up underneath the GGB (Golden Gate Bridge).  

            Oh look, there goes another one.  With her blonde hair all curly and her nails done and her pink dress and her little posse.  I don't know why but whenever one of those little Barbies pass me with their fake laughs and preppy boyfriends, I always push my wire rectangle glasses farther up on my nose and slump down farther on "my" bench.  Well, actually I do know why.  I used to be one of them.

_Near, far, wherever you are,_

_I believe that the heart does Go On._

_Once more you open the door_

_And you're here in my heart and _

_My heart will go on, and on._

            But now I lived under a bridge with Jorden, eating stolen picnic lunches from the rich people at the park, wearing torn faded jeans with anarchy patches, black shirts, and too many bracelets and necklaces.  At school my Barbie friends and me used to make fun of this one girl Anne because she dressed weird.  Like me now.  God those were the most horrible days of my life, flaunting around school in a dress, having to turn down boys at every corner.  At least I had naturally black hair though.  At least I wasn't blond. 

Love can touch us one time And last for a lifetime And never let go till we're gone Love was when I loved you, One true time, I hold you In my life!  You'll always Go On.             Argh!  I let out a small cry as another Barbie passed and I stand up, kicking a dirt clump.  Every time one of those girls pass, I think about him, and the way my life used to be. 

"Come on Kels!  Hurry, I scored us some!" Jorden Canter whispers in my ear.  My eyes widen, suddenly noticing the painful rumbling in my stomach.  I jumped off the bench, my long hair whipping behind me as I ran as fast as I could behind Jorden.  We ran to our bridge, went under and sat down, panting.  Neither of us said a word.  She just looked inside the Wal-Mart bag she picked up off of a picnic table.  For  moment I just studied Jorden.  She really WAS pretty.  She always wore her long blonde hair naturally streaked with red and brown in one braid trailing down her back.  Her eyes were a deep brown, with flecks of gold, just like His.  Today she had on an old gray tank top and beat up black scout pants and dirty Reeboks.  She had no family either.  We met 2 years ago, after Papi died, in 8th grade, and ditched life altogether.  We went off together, living in various places and eating out of trash cans until we found the bridge.  I looked at Jorden again, opening the bag of pre-made deli sandwiches.  My heart ached.  Her hair and eyes reminded me so much of Ricky Smithens'.  If I thought hard enough, I could almost remember the first day we met exactly as it happened…

            

September 5th grade, Same day as last chapter…

            The bell rang.  I jumped up excitedly. We were so happy that we were 5th graders because we got to go to the cafeteria first.  

I immediately began talking to my best friend sitting next to me, Kristen Jennings.  We had been best friends since practically the womb.  Our mothers were best friends when they were little, too.  Everyone called us The Terrible K's.  It was like our nickname or something.  And every person that me and Kris decided to befriend acted like we were goddesses at first and we chose them to be a member of some goddess network.  Kristen followed me out the door, with Maria Hartneck, Jessie Lynch, and Ren Sheek trailing behind us.  I plastered a smile on my face, although my insides were churning.  That boy I saw this morning.  He was really nice.  But kind of weird.  His hair stood up and he was staring.  I hate it when people stare at me.  But for some reason, today, my stomach got all-bubbly.  I don't know exactly why.  Well, I did.

My sisters Kelly and Karen were always teasing me about how someday I would fall in love and marry a boy.  I always thought it was gross.  Boys got dirty and burped and made funny faces and ate 24/7.  But today, in the hallway with Ricky, I felt all comfortable, like I had just eaten a bowl full of hot mashed potatoes.  I wanted to run and jump and swing.  But I had to resist myself.  Because I would never fall in love with a boy.  They were icky.  

My friends and I entered the lunch room.  Kris and I got in line for lunch, and the rest of the girls saved us a table because they had brown-bagged their lunches.  After we were served our mystery meat and green beans, we sat down with Maria, Jessie, and Ren.  As we were eating and laughing, I fell silent.  I couldn't help it, but my mind wanted to look for Ricky!  My eyes darted from right to left.  Maybe if I saw him, he might be looking at me too.  Maybe he likes me too.  WAIT stop.  Kelsey Quinn Millen, get a grip.  But I didn't see him.  And I was pretty sure he wasn't looking at me.  At least I hoped he wasn't.  That would be-_eiw_.

But I found out a few years later, he was looking for me too.

Present

I found myself mauling at my ham sandwich that Jorden passed me.  I was trying so unbelievably hard not to lose myself and cry.  I hadn't cried in two years.  Huh uh.  Not once.  But all day, I found myself thinking about Ricky and the time I spent knowing him.  Not a word was spoken as Jorden devoured her sandwich.  I didn't speak either.  I bit my lip as a tear rolled down my cheek.

You're here 

_There's nothing I fear_

_And I know that my heart will go on_

_We'll Stay forever this way_

_You are safe in my heart and_

_My heart will go On and_

_On._

*~*~*

YAYY another LONG chapter!!!!! Ok well I gotta go do some homework, got a history paper due the 26!! BYES!!!!!!!

*talley~


	3. Dreams

YAY finally on to chapter 3!

Heres some shouts b4 we start this thang..

  
REVIEWERS! UR AWESOME!  WORD TO YA MIZZLE! 

KimmyKid---Hey gurl… YAY u liked it! *cookie*

Empress Of Cats---HAHAHHAH! UR SO HYPER LIKE ME! Lolol BOXERS!!! Well im glad u liked it… I need to keep up w. ur fic! 

Tears Of Blood from my Eyes--- OK 1st off.. LUV the name…lol  But wow! U actually liked it! kool!  *does sparky dance* THANKS! I need to go read some more of ur ficcies… lol

Lady Fuzzy---YAY! Yes zig IS the hotness! Lolol well ACK! No tears *cry* okw ell maybe just a LITTLE lol

Aria---YAY anither good reviewer! Well im glad u like it.. and ur name is awesome!!!!!

Oberon O'Neill---HEY I need to go read ur fic! Gosh, I need to read everyone's! Lol YEAH I had a burst of inspiration to use that song… lol

OK ONWARD FOLKS!!!!

Chapter 3

            _Creak._

            My eyes popped open.  They darted through the blackness towards the tent flap.   I would sware on his paranoia to the Warden right now that the stoop had creaked under the weight of a person… axe murderer… no stop thinking that!

             I bit his tongue and closed my eyes.  The voices in the back of my head spoke up again.  _Nothing is there!  Its probably just a lizard.  With… yellow spots… a YELLOW SPOTTED lizard!  Poisonous!  Oh my god, run!  WAIT stop.  There are NO poisonous lizards.  Just stop.  It was only a rattlesnake getting rady to jump out and bite y-_

            AHH! i jumped out of his cot, scaring myself to death.  i have to stop listening to those voices!  They were his paranoia kicking up again.  They always scared him halfway out of his mind.  He was _really _paranoid—_acutely_ paranoid.  He took a deep breath and looked around, still standing.  He glanced around at the other guys-Zero, Armpit, Squid, Magnet, and Caveman.  Good.  They were still asleep, Magnet softly snoring and Armpit breathing heavily.  X-Ray stirred once, but ZigZag hadn't woke anyone up.  He gulped and sat back down on his musty-smelling cot, breathing through his mouth, trying to fall asleep.  He was having rotten luck, though.  Just like the rest of the week.  It was the dreams.  For a week now, ever since he thought of Kelsey Millen that one lone time, he couldn't stop.  He even thought about her in dreams. In my dreams, I would always wake up to find 3 or so prick marks on my hand, dried with small dots of blood.  Then I would run outside and watch a yellow school bus drive by.  I saw a black-haired head with glasses sitting in the middle, handcuffed, and I would always start running down the road after it.  They were really kind of strange.  I had yet to figure them out.   He secretly smiled to himself as I remembered another sacred day in my head, the weird dreams at the back of my head.

*Flashback* (8th grade)

            I nervously ran my fingers through my hair.  It was now fully on end, with my growing anticipation.  I gripped the rose tighter behind my back.  I gulped, out of thirteen years of habit, one last time before raising a shaking hand to ring the doorbell.  I mustered enough courage to press my finger down quickly on the pearly button, hearing a soft tune playing from the bell box inside Kelsey Millen's luxurious home.  I heard faint footsteps a second later, and suddenly the door flew open, Kelsey standing there.  My eyes widened  and breathing faltered.  Kelsey's blue eyes peered up at me, she had to look up a great much to stare me in the eye, and poured into me with surprise bursting from eyelid to eyelid.  She looked a little confused-not to mention more beautiful than ever.  Her two black braids were brushing the waistband of her purple shorts, and tufts of stray hairs were bubbling through the braids around her ears.  Her glasses were crooked and resting on eh tip of her nose, and her white sweatshirt had a few holes in it.  I hurriedly tore my eyes off of her and peered at my feet like they were the most interesting thing in the world.  I stammered a bit, but no real words came out.  Kelsey just stared back, lips pursed like she was wasting her time, but I did realize that her left cheek right below her eye would twitch every once ina while, just like it did when Keith Barringer, the most swooned-over boy in the John Adamson Middle School's 8th grade classes, talked to her.  He seemed to flutter everyone's heart.  I was just about to speak when I heard the TV volume decrease and a voice penetrate the silence.

            "Kelss!"  It called.  "Is it Keith?  OO let me come!"  it squealed, followed by several giggles, and 5 girls appeared at the front door.  Kelsey's eyes widened in fear and she stepped back.  I choked on my own spittle.  

            The same girl snarled her upper lip.  "What are _you_ doing here, Retard Ricky?"

            "Yeah weirdo!"

            "Get lost freak!"

            "hahah"

            "What a loser…"

            Kelsey stuttered.  "Guys, Ricky is um, dropping off Rufus's new-medicine,"  She lied flawlessly, picking up her small kitten from the ground, showing it to her wide-eyed friends.  She swallowed.  "His mom is Rufus's vet, and he has a slight-_cold_."

            She nodded my way and I shook my head _yes_.  The girls seemed yet unsatisfied.

            The same annoying one spoke again.  She rolled her eyes.  "Come on guys, lets just go watch TV and leave the freaks alone," she commanded, being followed.

            Kelsey was obviously very uncomfortable now.  She looked up at my and started to inch the door closed.  "Um I have to you know-go so um," she stuttered.

            I gaped.  I snapped out of my trance.  "Uh yeah, sure,"  My blood was boiling.  Loser?  Freak?  Weirdo?  I had heard these before but they meant so much more hurt when Kelsey made no attempt to stop it.  I guess I was just too caught up in my feelings for her that I didn't even narrow down the chances of her even beginning to like me.  I felt hot in the face.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I raised my arm, Kelsey shrinking back.  I threw the rose down on her porch without a word and ran.

*End*

            I brushed away a stray tear.  I ran my fingers over 4 light brown dts on my left hand.  I never realized how hard I was gripping that rose.  The thorns had cut my fingers-it snapped.  It all clicked!  The dreams!  The marks on my hands were the thorns from that rose, and Kelsey was on the bus!  It was official.  I had to go and find her.

*!*

Ok I no there wasn't much action but the next chapter is gong to be really awesome, even my friend Zima tells me that! Lol

REVIEW, PEEPS!!!!!!!!!

Im out, fo rizzle

*talley~


	4. And following them

Adding a chapter with [0*] reviews! Lol cuz I felt like it.. OK

Chapter 4

            I woke up with a start.  Oh my god.  When are they going to stop?  I was having these ongoing dreams about me waking up on a hot stinky bus and then seeing Ricky out of the window digging a huge hole, like miles deep, and the sky was orange, and my hands said, "Run" all over them.  It was really strange.  And they kept me awake.

            I swallowed my spit.  I laid back down in the cement pipe.  I glanced at Jorden, sleeping.  I ran my fingers over my shorts, drying my sweat.  I decided i wasn't going to be able to sleep, so I stood up.  I went quietly at first, then faster and less cautious after a few minutes.  I ended up running through the woods, and found myself bawling.  I collapsed in the leaves.  I breathed heavily, trying to stop.  I couldn't help it.  I really did miss him.  My heart ached and I didn't want it to.  I hadn't seen him in 3 years.  I made up my mind then that I wouldn't fall in love with him.  And I thought I hadn't.  I guess I had, because here I was, crying my eyes out.  

            I wiped my hand helplessly one last time over my eyes and stood up, my knees week.  I didn't even leave time to think.  I ran out of the woods to the brightly lit street.  I closed my eyes, my fingers in my pocket, tracing my initials on my locket I had slipped in there and kept since 8th grade.  I opened and headed into the nearest 7-11.  I had to get away.

            He warmth of the convenience flooded into my body, first through my eyes.  I breathed n through my nose, savoring the delicious smell of the coffee and Krispy Kreme donut display.  It was about 3 AM, and the store was empty, except for an African American manager and a young female trainee.  I suddenly realized what I was here for and moved along.  I unnoticeably pretended like I was studying the differences on the poster above the fountain drinks between the price of a Big and Super Gulp.  I turned after a minute and went to walk out, and whipped around quickly.  I ducked into the employee box.  The startled manager choked on his own tongue.  I slugged him in the forehead and he crumpled to the ground.  I drew my hand back, looking at my locket twisted around my fingers.  I knew that piece of gold would come in handy someday.  Then one of the assistants heard the commotion and came out of the back room.  I stuck one end of my locket into the key slot of the cashier, panicked, and heard the _ching_ as it opened.  I grabbed a wad full of bills and darted.  I doubted I would make it.  But I got farther than I expected.  I ran a few hundred yards and almost crossed the street when the assistant yelled from the doorway, and a passing cop saw the girl and pulled in.  She motioned to me and before I could say "Ricky" I was lying, stunned, in the back of a LAPD cop car.

*~*~*~*~*

            I slammed my eyes shut, trying to keep Kelsey in my head.  I collapsed on the dirt ground.  I suppose I had been walking only about 2 miles, but without water it was tiring,  in the dark, and my tennis shoes, already dirty, were caked in red dust.  I breathed in hard, hoping to relieve my dry throat, only filling it with dirt.  I had to get to Kelsey.  I couldn't just stop.  I pushed myself up and carried forward.  But, stupidly, I went the wrong way, heading back for the camp.

*~*~*~*~*

            The clumsy bus jolted my body upwards a few feet.  I snapped awake instantly.  The afternoon sun was at its high peak in the sky, and I couldn't help but notice the increased perspiration dripping down my arms, sides, neck, back, and legs.  The guard in front shifted his rifle, looking my way.  I rolled my eyes.  Then I winced.  My left was bruised from a fight with the cops last night at the 7-11.  They didn't even give me a trial.  I didn't even get any time to get my things or say goodbye to Jorden.  I was on this crappy bus, heading to nowhere in the heat.  Well, I knew It was somewhere.  I just thought it was Holeville or something.  Seriously.  There was nothing but holes, and I could see them stretching on for miles.  I groaned, and stretched my arms up to redo my messy black ponytail, being jerked back in restriction.  That's when I remembered-this bus had handcuffs.  Great.  And to make things worse, the bus broke down.

*~*~*~*~*

            I heard a roaring engine spit a few times and then decrease to a silence.  My head pounded in pain and my throat was scratchy and sore.  I sat up on my knees in the bushes.  I had tried.  I got as far as I could.  But in the heat with no water I didn't make it very far.  I guessed I had moved to soon.  I knew I would never find Kelsey anyways.  I didn't even know where I was going.  

            I decided to go see what was up with this troubled car.  I came out of the thicket and saw the Camp Greenlake Bus broken down.  Then I moaned in hatred-I still had my orange jumpsuit on.  I had no time to run.  The guard, outside of the bus inspecting the engine, noticed me and cocked his gun.  

            "Hold it right there, son," he snarled.  "You right here are property of the government owned Camp Greenlake."  He motioned towards the bus.  I quickly changed my mind.  What did I have to lose?  I turned the other way and ran.  They didn't even try to halt me.  _Victory_ I thought.  Then, I heard the engine roar again.  I turned around gain to see it slowly pull away.  Then my eyes felt alive.  I saw someone black haired in the backseat.  _My dream_ I thought.  It was Kelsey.  Lord, I thought I would die.

*~*~*~*

             I sighed drastically as the giant bus halted.  The guard jumped out and ran to the hood.  I propped my elbow on the sill and leaned my head on it and sighed.  This would be a while.  Then I heard his gun click.  I peered out of the dirty window to see the guard talking furiously to a tall, sweaty, muddy boy with frizzy blond hair and an orange hideous outfit.  I curiously watched to try to figure it all out.  After the guard stopped talking, the boy ran.  I shrugged.  Must have ran away from camp.

            Then it clicked.  My heart fluttered._  Ricky_.

*~*~*~*

            I hadn't lost hope.  I didn't feel tired anymore.  I felt like a giant bird replenished, soaring above the world.  I couldn't believe it!   I had found her!  She was coming to Camp Greenlake!  The world was almost good.  Wait, she wont even remember me.  Oh well, what did it ,matter?  I would remember her!

*~*~*~*

            An hour later we pulled into a giant blur, as it appeared to me.  It all happened so fast.  I stepped out, almost tripping, my long ponytail unsaying because of the lack of breeze, my body sweating under my black clothes.  I saw the blond panting, running towards me.  It_ was _Ricky.  For _real_.

*~**~

Ok a better chapter tomorrow…lol

REVIEW!!!!

[talley*]


End file.
